Normally I simply title my posts with the date, but it wasn’t appropriate this time. I have fought depression in many ways for years. Ever since I was a teenager. It didn’t take much to make me depressed. Although now it is a little harder, it still happens. Why do so many women in particular suffer from depression? I have a wonderful husband who always manages to put his shoes on in the morning, go out and warm the car and then track mud all the way back to the bedroom, has started to put on weight and knows that he needs to loose it, but won’t do anything about it. If you mention exercise to him he gets mad and says he will loose the weight, knows that we have a huge crack in the bottom of our tub and are on the verge of it leaking but refuses to take the time to fix it. I really do love my husband, but he is the king of do nothing unless someone makes him. Honestly sometimes he is worse than the kids. I have to remind him daily of things he needs to do.
I have just felt so depressed today. It has caused the muscle in my shoulder and left arm to tighten up and cause quite a lot of pain. Between my back and my shoulder I can hardly do anything. I don’t have any close friends, only those who I live vicariously through on my computer. I have no one that I can go and visit with or spend time with. Dh however has all of his friends from work and from drill the he stays in contact with. I have one computer, two children, three dogs, and four walls to keep me company. The sun is shining today, but all I feel like doing is closing the blinds and going to bed. I hate days like this. Dh’s car is almost shot and he is needing a new one. We have talked about his several times. He has found something that he likes, but won’t take the time to go and look at it. If you are not going to follow through on something, then don’t talk about it. Don’t get me wrong, he is a wonderful person and a loving husband, he just doesn’t think.
I could go on forever on this subject. It has been a big part of my life. I have spent so many years suffering from this. I have tried various treatments, but I really feel that it’s the little things that could be changed and make a difference. Something has to change and soon.