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I have watched my poor Trixie Belle struggle so many times to get on the couch like the other dogs do and she just couldn’t seem to make it.  I bought her some steps from a retail store and they didn’t work for her as the steps were too narrow and she is a long dog.  So after much frustration of seeing her struggle I finally decided to make some steps for her.  The idea came from seeing boxes that were being mailed to my Dh stacked up together.  So here is what I came up with.

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I took 3 of the military flat rate boxes that were used and filled them with something that would add weight to them as well as keep them from crushing in.  For instance, one of them has old bathroom rugs that I will not be needing.  Then I duct taped them together.

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I then cut out some fleece to sew together to make a cover for them.  I did not measure the fleece, only drew an outline of the boxes and cut out the pieces.

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Side view.  I also placed the steps on a piece of rubber drawer liner so they would not move around.

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So now my sweet baby can get up on the couch all by herself and take a nap. 🙂

I often start my posts and then go back and give them a title.  I never know where my words are going to take me or what it is all going to mean when I first start writing.  I just let the words come out.  Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it doesn’t.  But I think that the fact that I started blogging again is more for me than others.  I needed to get out some of these feelings that I am having.  I keep telling myself that even though I miss my husband that that is not really the reason I am feeling the way that I am.  But after talking to my dear friend last night and doing a lot of thinking today I have come to realize that is the reason I am feeling this way.  Sometimes I am angry at things, sometimes I am just plain sad.  Being separated from the one you love can put your emotions though an emotional whirlwind.  You never know from one minute to the next how you are going to feel or how you are going to react to something when it happens.  Sometimes you even do or say things that you really regret.  I know that we all tend to do that even if our spouse is not away from you, but if you have been/are in a situation like this you know exactly what I mean.  There are day when you feel like your life just simply can’t go on.  You feel like if you have to spend one more day alone you are going to die.  Then I try to remind myself of my husband and all of the other people who are deployed and how they feel.  They are lonely too.  It’s not just me.  So I have learned that I need to not only focus on how I am feeling, but also of how my husband is feeling.  I see our children daily.  He can’t.  I am able to get in the car and go where ever I want.  He can’t.  I can sleep in our own bed.  He can’t.  I can just walk into the kitchen and grab something out of the fridge anytime I want.  He can’t.

When you stop and think about things that way you tend to wonder how you could even be depressed at all.  He is the one who is going through hard times.  Not me.  I try daily to think about how much he means to me and that he is doing all of this for his family.  He loves us so much.  I have also learned( thanks again to my friend) that I souldn’t get upset when he does his best to pick out a gift for me.  Regardless of what it is.  He bought it for me.  He used his own sweet fingers to hunt and peck on his laptop to order something for me.  He thought of me.  I love him so very much.

Thanks Beth for keeping me straight. 🙂

I will rejoice and be glad in it.  Regardless of how I might be feeling inside.  Deployments are so hard on a family.  They can bring about so many changes as well.  I have come to realize this deployment that the changes in me have been for the better.  I have learned to accept myself for who I am and not what others expect me to be.  You can’t please everyone, but you must please yourself and most importantly the Lord.  Sometimes we don’t do things according to what other believe and that is ok.  Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I welcome that.  I think that we all might go through times in our lives where we feel like we are just not the person we are supposed to be.  I have fought for years with this feeling.  I kept trying to impress others and didn’t do anything for myself or my family.  This deployment has shown me that I am a strong person and have many friends who support me.  I am so grateful for that.

I had originally planned on not writing to this blog anymore.  I felt as though I just had nothing to say.  But the fact of the matter is, I do have things to say.  Sometimes they are nice and sometimes not.  I have learned that you just can’t please everyone, and that is totally fine.  Another thing I have learned is to go with your heart.  Sometimes that might not be the path that others would have you travel, but you can’t live your life for anyone else but you.  I have been up, down and and everything in between for the past 4 months.  It has not been fun or easy.  I have struggled daily with depression, but I do know one thing for sure, that through it all the Lord has not left me.  Yes, I have backed away, but He hasn’t.  He is right where I left Him, waiting for me.

No sleep…

I am going on little to no sleep right now.  I have not been able to get a good nights rest since last Friday.  It is so hard not being able to talk to your sweetheart for almost 6 days.  It can really wear you down.  Thankfully I have had 2 girls, school and facebook to keep me busy.  I am hoping that I will hear from my love tonight.  Then maybe I will be able to get some sleep.  I doubt it.

I am so glad this month is almost over and we can move on to another one.  One day at a time is all we can do right now.  The Lord has been good to us and has kept us busy and given us new friends to help ease this separation.  But nothing is like having your sweetie by your side. 😦

Lookin’ good….

Here is my new SkinIt.

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I hate weekends…

The one thing I hate the most about deployments (aside from not being able to see my honey) are the weekends.  They seem to last forever, no matter what you do to make them go by quicker.  I do fine, well, the best I can through the week and then as soon as I wake up on Saturday morning, wham, loneliness hits big time.  I don’t know why.  When my honey is home he works on Saturdays so you would think I would be use to being alone that day at least.  I guess the heart is just smarter than we think.  It knows that I am alone and it aches so much.  I pray for strength everyday, but sometimes I feel like I am just going to go crazy.