Lately it seems that things have gotten out of control around our home. I know that most of you think what I am going to say is normal, but it is driving me nuts. We have been doing a lot of remodeling in the past couple of weeks and our house is anything but clean. I had baskets of junk in the living room and bags of junk in the schoolroom. My buffet now holds tools instead of serving items. The kitchen table is grand central station, meaning that is where everything else gets put. I have an extreme obsession with putting things where they belong. No one else in this house does. I have severe OCD. After dinner I will put the dishes that no one is allowed to use back on the table, as well as a couple of candles and such. I make sure that all the placemats are equally spaced from the edge of the table and that all are centerd on each chair and that each chair is centered on the table and across from each other. I make sure that the apple basket goes in the middle of the table and must be centered. I then place two candles, one on each side of the basket and they have to be set on an angle. After all of this is done, dh thinks it funny to go over and move something. He knows that I will have to go back over to the table and move it back. I am constantly arranging all of the drawers in our house, making sure the pantry is arranged and that all of the books on the shelf in the schoolroom are grouped according to grade/subject, etc. I am so organized that my house is a disaster. I spend so much time cleaning that I never finish. One project always leads me to another.
On another note, I am struggling with the issue of becoming a better christian, wife, and mother. Lately I feel that I am failing in all three departments. I come from a family where my dad was very self sufficent as well as my mom. What I mean by that is that they could do so many things without help. Dh has ADD and sometimes that is difficult for me to handle. I tend to tell him what to do. I only want to help, but I think that I am only making the situation worse. I nitpick him to death. I want to stop doing that. I feel like I tend to take charge of things and that is not right. He is the head of this household, not me and I need to start respecting that. I feel like I have failed my children in teaching them, not just with school, but with christian values as well. I heard a song today that said “When I grow up I want to be like you”. Those words should have sounded sweet, but they were harsh. I don’t want my kids to grow up to be like me. I have my dad’s temper and little to no patience. I want to change all of that. We are going through an issue with our oldest right now on listening and doing what she is told. When you tell her to do something she always has to stop and say something to you, which is her way of trying to get out of it. When you tell the girls that they are cleaning the kitchen they always start arguing about who is going to wash what and who is going to dry. They never put things away. I guess this could be because of me. Yesterday I went to get a glass out of the cabinet and the glasses were not in the order that they should have been. So I said to everyone, I guess we are going to have to have another glass putting away class. I really need to relax and just go with the flow, but I can’t. My kids are growing up before my eyes and I am to busy straighting things up to see it.
I could go on forever on this, but I guess you are tired of reading. Have any of you ever felt this way? What did you do? I would like to find a good book that would maybe help, something that would go along with the Bible maybe. My family is too precious to me and I need to learn to be patient, calm, and a loving wife and mother.
I tend to be like that, but I have had to let much of it go. There are things that I “insist” upon, and from day 1, I taught my kiddos do to it that way. So, my laundry gets hung and folded just the way that I want it to be. Their beds are made ……mostly….how I want them to be.
Last night, I had to tell the boy “listen, I am not your maid, don’t leave your shoes in the middle of the floor” I also confiscate any of their stuff that they leave out. That is a HUGE pain/deterant for them. I don’t sweat the small stuff, because one day…..they will be gone, and I will have my house back to myself.
Thanks Tanya. I look at my girls when they are sleeping and I think how could I ever get mad at them. But then something happens and that feeling quickly goes away. We are going to have to work on the laundry folding techniques as well. No one can fold laundry the way I like it, and I am very particular about how a bed is made. There had better not be any wrinkles! But I do look at them and think that I will only have them here with me for a little while. I have a little plaque that says “A mother holds her childs hand for only a little while, but their hearts forever”. Everytime I read that I want to cry. Why do they have to grow up.
If I’m thinking of the same song that you mentioned it is dealing w/your kids wanting to be like you so you want to be like Christ. That is the part you need to focus on. Strive to be like Christ. Love your girls worts and all. Yes you have to teach them to do things and there is a right way to do stuff.
Maybe do a study together about doing things the way Christ would do them. Teach your girls to follow Him by being the example and they will follow you as well.
Kids learn very young how to push our buttons and we have to adapt by not allowing them the pleasure of reacting.
I don’t have OCD, or at least I don’t think so but my family my disagree but since they won’t see this…. I do have ways that I want thinks done and get upset when they’re not done right. I’ve found that some things I have to let go of and others I crack down on.
I think that I’ll go blog about this so I don’t take up your space here. I’ll be praying for you and your family. (((hugs)))